In the introductory session, you will explore expectations inherited from family and upbringing; communication styles and effective communication; the importance of recognising and expressing your feelings; and some barriers to talking. You’ll also develop an awareness of bad listening habits versus the power of reflective listening. As a couple, you’ll discuss your backgrounds and communication styles and you’ll practice a listening exercise as demonstrated in the video.

Session 2 emphasises that conflict in marriage is to be expected as you adjust to your differences and unpacks the unhelpful approaches of the “rhino” and “hedgehog” for dealing with anger. Nicky and Sila look at recognising and accepting our differences in areas such as money management or family norms and share about the “10 o’clock rule”. They look at five steps to help reach agreement as well as the importance of saying sorry and a practical three-step process for healing hurt.

This episode explores the benefits of the marriage commitment in terms of deep friendship and a strong family life, and the idea of an equal partnership with responsibilities divided up according to strengths. You’ll hear what it means to put each other’s needs above your own, looking at the marriage covenant and love that is deliberate and intentional, not just a feeling. You’ll also discuss two practical aspects of the marriage vows: dealing with finances and managing relationships with the wider family.

Nicky and Sila look at keeping love alive during the whole course of a marriage and the deliberate choice to do so. They unpack various tools such as a weekly date night (with no phones!) and using Gary Chapman’s “five love languages” (words of affirmation, gifts or presents, quality time, kind actions and physical touch). This episode also focusses on the importance of sex in marriage, giving practical advice for good sex that is us-oriented not me-oriented and addressing the devastating effects of porn.

Marriage provides us with one of life’s greatest opportunities and one of its greatest challenges. In the final session, you’ll learn four requirements for working together as a team in marriage: showing daily appreciation for each other; letting go of unrealistic expectations; being prepared to change; and recognising common overreactions. Nicky and Sila also discuss the importance of a couple’s values and priorities, and the roles of the more adventuring and more nurturing partner in the relationship.