Nicky and Sila explore what it means to understand and respond to each other’s needs, work through challenges and review your relational connection. Through the analogy of tending a vineyard, they explore the aspects of adjusting, pruning, supporting and renewing in marriage. The episode also touches on the amazing impact of making time for each other and learning to nurture each other.

This session tackles effective communication, the importance of recognising and expressing your feelings, and barriers to talking. It also unveils five bad listening habits and the transformative power of reflective listening. As a couple, you will work on your communication one-on-one, through sharing a significant memory with each other and practicing a listening exercise as demonstrated in the video.

Session 3 reveals how couples can grow closer by learning methods to resolve conflict. You will discover four principles for resolving conflict and learn ways of showing appreciation; how to recognise and appreciate your differences; plus how to implement the all-important “10 o’clock rule”. The session also covers five practical steps to help reach agreement and helpful ways of supporting each other.

How can a couple recover from the ways they may have hurt each other? In this session, you will learn whether you are a rhino or hedgehog as you hear about harmful approaches for dealing with anger. You will hear the effects of unhealed hurt and the importance of dealing with underlying problems, alongside a practical three-step process for healing hurt and an exercise in “clearing the drain” and comforting each other.

Couples carry different experiences and expectations into marriage from their upbringing, and Nicky and Sila share the importance of leaving our parents and creating a new decision-making structure and centre of gravity as a couple. You will learn tools for creating a safe place for each other, through resolving disagreements, considering boundaries with parents and in-laws, and reflecting on any negative patterns from your past.

Keeping the spark alive in marriage requires a good emotional connection and an other-oriented approach. Nicky and Sila reveal five secrets for a good sexual relationship, and four ways to affair-proof a marriage. This episode is full of practical advice, from leaving screens outside the bedroom to being creative when it comes to sex. It also addresses research into the damaging effects of pornography and fantasising about other people.

In the final session, Nicky and Sila look at the different ways a person may feel most loved, using Gary Chapman’s “five love languages”. Emphasising the importance of discovering how your partner feels appreciated and that loving intentionally can take real work, they unpack each of the five love languages (words of affirmation, gifts or presents, quality time, kind actions and physical touch). They also discuss how commitment in marriage can create a liberating feeling of safety and intimacy.